Redneck Computer Lingo


"Hard drive" Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
"Keyboard" Place to hang your truck keys.
"Window" Place in the truck to hang your guns or what happens when you pick all the Lottery numbers.
"Floppy" When you run out of Polygrip.
"Modem" How you got rid of your dandelions.
"ROM" Delicious when you mix it with coca cola.
"Byte" First word in a kiss-off phrase.
"Reboot" What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff.
"Network" Activity meant to provide bait for your trot line.
"Mouse" Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to get a free case.
"LAN" To borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck."
"Cursor" What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or girlfriend.
"bit" A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that watermelon seed across the porch longways."
"digital control" What yore fingers do on the TV remote.
"packet" What you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before a trip.